Building Yourself: Putting Your Success Together

Building Yourself
Putting Your Success Together One Piece at a Time

These pages contain the complete 2005 revised text of Building Yourself, public speaking trainer Elliot Essman's guide to living the successful life.

Elliot Essman Public Speaking Training
Building Yourself Table of Contents
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Chapter 10: SELECT
10.00 It's Who You Know

The phrase “It's not what you know, but who you know” is often used cynically. But like any idea, you can choose to look at it your way. In real life, who you know matters a great deal. Perhaps the cynicism stems from the notion that some people inherit their parents' elite networks (and other people don't). That shouldn't be your concern. Your task in building yourself will be to surround yourself with the best people you can find.

“Is that all there is to it?” you ask. “Just find the best? I'll put an ad in the paper.” Of course, building a network of people you can trust is easier said than done. It's a lifetime's work. You can't judge people like racehorses. (It's not all that simple to judge racehorses, for that matter.) Often you can't really tell if a person has got what it takes until you see that person face difficult circumstances.

It's not easy to learn to judge people. You'll misjudge people in both directions (underestimating and overestimating) and they'll misjudge you. You'll miss out on valuable allies at some point; you'll also run into manipulators and emotional crooks. No one goes through life without some scratches and bruises in this department.

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Building Yourself Table of Contents
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