© Elliot Essman 2005. All rights reserved.

These pages contain the complete 2005 revised text of Building Yourself, public speaking trainer Elliot Essman's guide to living the successful life.

Elliot Essman Public Speaking Training
Building Yourself Table of Contents
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• We have no right to consume happiness without producing it, than to consume wealth without producing it. George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950)

Whether you sell a product, charge professional fees, or work for someone else, you stand tall and ask for as high a return as you can get. This doesn't mean that you ask for outrageously high amounts. What it does mean is that you always push the high end of the accepted range. It will take some experience for you to figure out what the range is, and how much you can stretch it. Do your homework on this.

I've been in business more than ten years, and every time I raise my hourly rate, I kick myself that I didn't raise it sooner. The work I do is top notch. Others in my business charge much less, some half as much. But my clients know they can depend on me. The work I do is exceptional, and I am out there to help them make money every step of the way. I am above average and I expect above average compensation. After so many years, I've learned to ask for it.

Yes, you may be rejected. You may not get the job or client. But do you really want the client or employer who is so small minded that they aren't willing to pay top dollar for excellence? Do you really want that client or employer who can easily pay you all you're worth, but who likes or needs to play ego and negotiation games with the price?

While asking for what you're worth, you make contact and solidify relationships with important people—the enlightened people who are happy to pay you what you're worth. These are the people you can work with.

Once you begin a working relationship with someone who underpays you, they'll only despise you for it, and you may come to despise yourself. It's is a no‑win situation. Taking a job that pays you a salary you can't live on is a perfect example. It will drain you. It will not lead to better things. You'd be better off driving a cab and holding out for what you're worth. Learn early in life to look the other person straight in the eye and ask. No hemming, hawing, ahs, ers, ums or apologies. Be firm but remain open and polite. Once you get the hang of it, you can ask for what you're worth without seeming aggressive. When your clients ask how much your service or product will cost, tell them. Don't use a rising intonation in your voice as if apologizing. Don't look over to them for approval. Once you've told the price, move right on to the next subject.

If you're building skills for later use, veer toward the skills your research tells you will pay off handsomely—in areas of long‑term economic growth. You can ask for rewards at the top of the range in any field, but a better paying field will always bring in more.

One more piece of tactical advice about asking for what you're worth. What if you succeed? What if you double your salary? Well, there's a trap. We think big here in the world of success, and doubling or redoubling your income isn't any laurel to rest upon. If you're making ten dollars an hour, don't become mesmerized with twenty. It may be double, but it's still only twenty. And forty is only forty. These amounts only seem large because of the base from which you jumped. Moving decimal points to the right is what counts.