© Elliot Essman 2005. All rights reserved.

These pages contain the complete 2005 revised text of Building Yourself, public speaking trainer Elliot Essman's guide to living the successful life.

Elliot Essman Public Speaking Training
Building Yourself Table of Contents
Previous Section - Next Section

• At 20 years of age the will reigns; At 30 the wit; At 40 the judgment. Benjamin Franklin (1706–1790)

Now that you know this, you'll still be set back when you discover the person you thought you knew has become somebody else: maybe even a total stranger. But at least you won't be surprised. And you change also. You might discover you're no longer compatible with someone, but that doesn't mean you made a mistake in starting the relationship in the first place. Your thinking and feeling might have been on dead center then. It was so right. But people change.

Human love relationships are complicated and most people will experience several before they settle down with somebody for a longer period. Many of these relationships can appear quite serious when we're in the middle of them. As people change and drift apart, they can cause each other pain. But pain also heals.

Once you've educated and disciplined yourself to the point where you can enter into a positive marriage, you'll have to learn to make it last. Having sensitivity to the fact that both you and the other person change is a major plus. When you're married you definitely don't want to take it lightly. Yes, divorce exists, but if you contemplate divorce as an escape valve even before you marry, perhaps you need to do more thinking about your basic attitudes.