© Elliot Essman 2005. All rights reserved.

These pages contain the complete 2005 revised text of Building Yourself, public speaking trainer Elliot Essman's guide to living the successful life.

Elliot Essman Public Speaking Training
Building Yourself Table of Contents
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• When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other. Eric Hoffer (1902–1983)

In America, society looks to the average. This is one of the great ironies of being free. If you're a person who will not tolerate being average, face up to the fact that you'll never be in the mainstream. There are disadvantages to this to be sure. If you don't watch television, for example, people will make references to it and use catch phrases and references you won't understand. If you don't accept standard methods of gaining skills and making a living, many people won't understand you. If you do anything of an individual nature, you'll be misunder­stood. If you're intelligent and articulate, it's a mistake to assume everyone out there will know what you're talking about. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote: “To be great is to be misunderstood.”

The entire next chapter of Building Yourself is entitled “Strange.” The idea is to train yourself to accept the new. But in a society that doesn't like surprises, you may be perceived to be strange if you involve yourself in the new. If you eat a healthier diet than most people, for example, the average person will feel threatened. They'll think you're weird, an oddball. It's even worse if you have different sexual leanings from most people, or if you're a member of an obscure religious group (or not religious at all), if you speak a foreign language or are of a minority ethnic background.

America offers great freedoms, but most people don't take them. Most people are frightened by having too many choices. Many feel threatened by other people's success.

The person who sits and waits may dream of being a great entrepreneur or an innovative success, but that's putting the cart before the horse. These kind of people also dream of winning lotteries. They aren't willing to do the hard work necessary to generate and keep wealth. They don't have the foggiest idea of when or where to begin. They want what you've got, without giving what you've given. They are many and you're one of a few. Never underestimate the damage they can do you.

Because society is so insistent on leveling everything down to the average, you've got to watch out for another danger. It's in yourself. You mustn't waste your time going out of your way to prove you're not average. That's playing society's game. In the tough world out there, if you merely rebel you'll just be singled out. Your heroics will be empty. You won't get much done. Ultimately you'll lose self-respect. Your real goal is to be an individual, cherish your freedom and do something impressive with it. Remember, the person you want to most impress is yourself.