© Elliot Essman 2005. All rights reserved.

These pages contain the complete 2005 revised text of Building Yourself, public speaking trainer Elliot Essman's guide to living the successful life.

Elliot Essman Public Speaking Training
Building Yourself Table of Contents
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• All progress has resulted from people who took unpopular positions. Adlai E. Stevenson (1900–1965)

The need to be diplomatic is important, but so is the need to speak your mind when it comes to a crunch. Dale Carnegie's advice is right on the money most of the time, but there are situations in life where you can sway opinion. Never underestimate your own power to do so.

If something about society or current government policy bothers you, by all means write letters to the editors of newspapers and magazines. The art of letter writing is a lost one. If you write a careful letter, reasoned and to the point, you may be surprised when the newspaper calls you up for your O.K. to print your letter. If you have a consumer complaint, a cool, dispassionate letter which explains your complaints and the way you expect them to be remedied can work wonders. It's important to learn how to write and then to go out and write.

Verbal debating skills are important also, though with Dale Carnegie's advice in mind, you'll debate only rarely. If the other people are truly fixed in their ways, nothing will sway them. But the person you debate with may be borderline, may be seeking just the kind of opinion leadership you're prepared to give. Sometimes, your opinion, if you become skilled in bringing it across, can make other people change their minds.

In America, grass roots efforts by ordinary citizens are responsible for major changes all the time. Usually this is done by small groups of people working together. The opportunity is not always there; it depends on the time, place and issue. But the time is always right for you to write to the newspapers, to your senator and representative, to state and local legislators. Their offices count the volume of mail on major issues, for and against. If you write a particularly forceful or eloquent letter, you can be sure it will be read by someone who counts, especially if a newspaper prints it.

I happen to feel quite strongly that immigration to this country should be as open and free as is practical. Back in 1978, I wrote a letter responding to a New York Times article on this subject. They printed it. Literally millions of people around the world read my letter and were impressed by my thoughts. Several wrote or telephoned me to tell me so. If you look in the “Letters to the Editor” column of any newspaper, you'll see that they print letters from all kinds of people. The aim is to express an honest view and to express it simply.

Our purpose in this book is to build ourselves. While you shouldn't waste your time arguing with your Uncle Lloyd at the next family function, your stature demands that you speak your mind in this world, at the highest possible levels, and whenever the opportunity arises for your voice to be heard. This is one of the most satisfying rewards of living a life in which you remain aware, active and free.