© Elliot Essman 2005. All rights reserved.

These pages contain the complete 2005 revised text of Building Yourself, public speaking trainer Elliot Essman's guide to living the successful life.

Elliot Essman Public Speaking Training
Building Yourself Table of Contents
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• Pleasure is the beginning and the end of living happily. Epicurus (341–270 B.C.)

There is a sensible way to approach pleasure. What pleases one person may not please another. Me—I like a nice day off during which I can write without the phone ringing every ten minutes. I like to take a nice walk down. I like to listen to music. I like to attend art lectures. I like to cook and eat fine foods. I study foreign languages for the joy of it.

Pleasure is a matter of personal temperament and personal taste. What most truly successful people do have in common is their balanced approach to pleasure. They work hard and enjoy their leisure time without feeling guilty about it. On the other hand, they know that an obsession with pleasure is not good for them—it's not even truly pleasurable. Their approach to both work and leisure is mature, evolved, developed. And many of them find great pleasure in doing their work well.

We live in a world of sound bites and instant gratification. But instant gratification doesn't gratify for very long. It leaves your deeper needs unmet. On the other hand, you can't live a full life if you feel guilty about pleasure. Guilt is useless.

People and institutions may try to prevent you from seeking pleasure. They're only important if you let them be important. Shrug them off rather than resenting them. Rebelling against them by obsessive pleasure seeking is also playing by their rules. You should play by your own rules. And these rules tell you that you do what is good for you, finding a reasonable balance, based on your needs, and respecting the needs of others.